What if you're Easily Addicted?

You don’t have to abuse drugs or have a gambling habit to struggle with addiction.  Have you ever been so involved in a book or video game that you completely shut out the world around you? Have you ever spent an entire day obsessed about what you were going to eat after work? Have you ever been talking about one topic so passionately that your listeners’ eyes glaze over? Have you ever had family or friends tell you that (fill in the blank) seems to be all you care about?

Some people, due to environmental factors or brain chemical imbalances, tend to be more prone to exaggerate everyday behaviors and turn them into something unhealthy.  What do you do if you know you’re vulnerable to these behaviors?

1. Stay away from the dangerous stuff.  If you know you’re prone to excess, avoid alcohol, drugs, even cigarettes.  Combining addictive substances with addictive personality is a sure recipe for disaster.
2. Have an accountability partner.  Whether it’s a spouse, sibling, or best friend, have someone in your life who can tell you the truth about your behavior when it gets out of hand.
3. Indulge, but set limits. If you know Oreos are your weakness, you can still eat them, just take a serving and put the package away (or have someone hide it).  This is easier when you’re not alone.
4. Or stay completely away. If an activity doesn’t contribute to your well-being, and takes you away from your friends and family, you may have to avoid it and all environments where it is available, when feasible.
5. Set goals. If you have a direction for your life, and are committed to the steps it takes to get there, it’s harder for an addiction to become primary in your life.  Addiction tends to fill a void, so fill your life with good things first.
6. Consider working with a life coach to guide you and help hold you accountable for goals while steering you clear of behaviors you want to change.

Having an addictive personality means you may be able to focus completely on a project in a way others cannot.  Take these steps above to keep it healthy.

Goals for 2021

Where do you want to be in 10 years?  If that question causes you to shrug or get anxious, you might need a coach.

Everyone has dreams.  Everyone has interests and passions they would like to dedicate more time to pursuing.  Few people would say, “I like myself, my job and my relationships just as they are.  I wouldn’t change a thing.”

The problem most people have in achieving their dreams is that they lack the knowledge, skills, perseverance, or confidence to move forward in setting new goals and meeting them.  I say “most” people because some dreams may be unreachable due to a lack of talent or resources- such as a dream to perform on Broadway, play in the NBA, or own a castle in Scotland.  However, many dreams that seem unreachable may simply require uncharacteristic determination to realize. 

A life coach, mentor, accountability partner, or friend can offer encouragement, support, and resources when you have a goal or dream that you want to accomplish.  In fact, your chances of success are greatly increased when you have a support system:  people who believe in you and want to contribute to your goals. 

“Nothing that’s worthwhile is ever easy,” says Nicholas Sparks.  If you want to get out of your box and off the life treadmill, you have to be willing to make sacrifices.  You may need to get up early to go to the gym or cut out television so you can study for a degree.  You may have to take a hard look at ways you have been sabotaging your own success.  You may have to invest your own resources into people and programs that will build you and your skills. 

If you are already working toward a goal, keep up your motivation by remembering what truly matters to you and why you want to achieve it.  The following poem is always an encouragement:

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit-
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,

As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a fellow turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out.
Don't give up though the pace seems slow -
You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than
It seems to a faint and faltering man;
Often the struggler has given up
When he might have captured the victor's cup;
And he learned too late when the night came down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out -
The silver tint in the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It might be near when it seems afar;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit -
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.  (Author unknown)

        

Get Rich Quick

To enrich means to add greater value to. When we think in terms of money or toys, we think more is better. If I want to be richer, I need to have more money.

In the greater scheme of life, however, being rich is a matter of having an abundance of what we value. It isn’t the money itself, but what money can buy that represents what you value. Could it buy you independence from the working world? Could it buy opportunities for your children? Could it buy more time with new gadgets? What really makes your life rich?

Most people would say that it is the relationships, creative pursuits, and compelling causes that bring richness to life. Toys and trips are great, but only when there are people to share them with. Believe it or not, it is easier to build true richness into your life than to build material wealth.

How can you become richer? When an experienced gardener begins to plant new seeds, she doesn’t just stick seeds into the old garden beds. The soil is hard from a long winter, and the nutrients have been all used up. Dead leaves and old grass litter the ground. The soil has to be turned, and have nutrients added, such as fertilizer or compost, to make it useful for growing new things.

Do you feel hard and all used up? Does life feel like an ironic hamster wheel? How can you get some new life growing? Take a tip from the gardener. Is there something dead crowding your life? Are there things you do or commit to that either aren’t your passion or aren’t matched well with your talents? Get rid of them! Clear the way for better things.

Turn the soil. Soften up. Take in the smell of your coffee, the feel of your shirt, the sound of rain on the window. Breathe deep. Opportunities to grow are all around you. Take a moment to listen, to reflect, to consider. What do you feel created to do? How can you incorporate that into your life?

Did you find some seeds? Maybe an idea or a thought came to you as you drifted off to sleep. Plant the seeds. Add some fertilizer. Nurture the sprouts to life. Allow your life the brightness and color that a growing garden represents. You have the capacity to enjoy true riches. Enrich your life today.

Change Starts with One Step

Wherever you go, there you are. It seems simplistic, but a lot of people are wrapped up in the past and opening old wounds, going between the bitterness of lost chances and the regret of bad choices. As far as moving forward, however, none of that matters.


One step anyone can take toward achieving any goal- whether it’s weight loss, parenting, career achievements, or anything- is to discover where you are today and accept that it is what it is. You don’t have to be happy about it or proud of where you are. In fact, the fact that you are dissatisfied with conditions today is what is going to motivate you to change and make steps toward your goals.

Are you overweight? So what? So are millions of other Americans. Admit to yourself if you are not in the physical condition you want to be. Do you feel guilty for neglecting your children? Admit that you haven’t been the parent you want to be. Are you stuck in a job that isn’t a good fit for you? Admit that you’re not happy about the present circumstances. Now, what are you going to do about it?

The second step is committing to change. It is up to you whether you want to remain where you are, reach toward a higher goal, or change directions. It doesn’t matter if your spouse is nagging you or your boss is threatening you. If you want to have a better life or to be a better person, you have to be willing to take responsibility for it.

Thirdly, take one step. Don’t try to crash diet the first day. Take one step. Trade in soda for water. Eat fruit instead of candy. Walk 10 minutes a day. When you’ve mastered that step, take the next step. It may not be the fast track, but it will pave the road for lifetime change. Commit to family meals once a week. Polish your resume. Take one step in the right direction, and before you know it, you’ll be in a whole new place. As Lao-tzu said, “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”

Surviving the Winter Blues

You thought maybe the groundhog was right, that maybe Spring was right around the corner.  However, your snow shovel has been as active as ever.  Do you have this secret fear that sunny days and balmy breezes will never make it back to your climate?

The more snow and cold a person experiences during the winter time, the more likely he or she is going to experience "winter blues."  Assuming a trip to the tropics is out of the question, what can you do to keep yourself going a few months more?

• Move.  Not move away, but move your body.  The last thing you probably want to do is exercise, but it is the best thing for your tired body.  Even a little bit of weak sunshine and a short walk to get the blood flowing can loosen up those cobwebs. 
• Heat it up.  Heat of any kind will help.  Hot drinks, roaring fires, saunas, hot tubs... Warm your body and soul.
• Turn up the lights.  Even if you don't have an official Seasonal Affective Disorder diagnosis, light therapy helps with alertness and mood.  Keep bright lights on in the rooms you spend the most time in, including your office. 
• Catch a rainbow.  Brightness also comes in colors.  Be sure to have color in your wardrobe every day.  Consider using some down time at home to paint or redecorate a room.  Fresh flowers, even some inexpensive daisies or carnations, can make Spring seem much closer.
• Do it differently. Variety really is the spice of life.  Get out of the house and try a new restaurant. Take a class or learn a new skill or hobby. Take a different route to work or plan a weekend getaway. 
• Be positive.  Read inspiring stories.  Turn off the evening news.  Post favorite motivational quotes in your bedroom or office.  Spring, with all its promise, will come.  
• Use your imagination.  Watch movies about tropical places or read books about a desert locale.  Somehow, it tricks your mind into thinking you're in a warm place. 

The way our minds and bodies react to less sunlight in the winter may be beyond our control.  However, we have the power to manipulate our environment to make wintertime life more than survival mode.